You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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