I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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