this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
