He is an equal opportunity slut.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
