Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Randomize
