idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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