Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
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