My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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