I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize