How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
