hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
