Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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