Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
