if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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