every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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