You can't special order awesome
The best revenge is premature balding
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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