i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
