What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
