ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
