Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
He passed out mid-signature
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
