I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Randomize
