So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
My ass is underappreciated
i now understand why vodka
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
