maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
