Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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