Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
