margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Randomize
