So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Operation Purity has been aborted
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
