why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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