my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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