I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
