i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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