we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
How's work?
Spinning.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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