dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
