butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize