Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
