fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
