Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
This house was built for laser tag.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
