I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
