So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I think I have vodka in my lungs
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
