Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
