my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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