I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
