it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
