we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
