I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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