real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
