I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
