I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
