So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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