What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
