You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
