I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Randomize
