Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
