From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
