i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
