I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You pole danced in your parka.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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