what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
