my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
