I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
