She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
