Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
