dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
