I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
