Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
